Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The irony is ...

... I turn 43 tomorrow, I have no desire for more children, raging cramps and probably another decade of menstrual fun.

There are no further children imminent.  The window of opportunity is well and truly closed.  Steps have been taken.

We tend to be late bleeders, the women of my family, so I would not be surprised if I have a considerable period (no pun intended) to go.  My mother and her sisters all went to about 55.

After a particularly chaotic hormonal phase, my doctor suggested he could take steps to stop it, or at least the more annoying aspects like bleeding for six weeks.  He basically suggested a flame thrower approach to the uterine lining.  

Apparently an actual flame thrower is not used - it is called endometrial ablation and can be done by:
  • Lasers (visions of Darth Vader, so I think not)
  • Heat using:
    • Radiofrequencies (I do live near a TV broadcasting tower - maybe it will happen anyway)
    • A balloon filled with saline solution that has been heated to 85 degrees Celsius
    • Normal saline (yeah, bugger it, just slosh some hot water round in there - try not to burn out the vagina though - that could be inconvenient)
  • Electricity (sorry, but isn't that known as a death sentence?)
  • Freezing (oh yeah, big improvement)
  • Microwave (you have to laugh at this one - are we talking a ping at the end of the procedure?)
Call me crazy, but it is a part of me I prefer untoasted. I believe I can live with the cramps.*

[* Please don't be put off by my tone.  This procedure may be a good solution for someone with more serious problems than me.]

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