Tuesday, February 26, 2013

You know time is creeping up on you like a thirsty mozzie when ...


  • you put some clips in the front of your hair to get the fuzz off your face and you acquire brand new wrinkles around your eyes
  • you wake up one random morning and find you have transmogrified into Richard III overnight, complete with asymetric hunch and nasty attitude
Kevin Spacey, the Old Vic's Artistic Director, stars in the Sam Mendes directed 2011 production.
Though p'raps not the Kevin Spacey version because you look crap in shoulder pads.
  • "jowly" is a word that enters your visual vocab
  • your husband quietly abandons the thought that he will ever have a flat stomach again and starts buying low riding jeans
  • shaving your legs makes them so dry you have no choice but to grease 'em up afterwards
  • you and your partner do an audit of elderly relatives and realise you may have to attend 25 interstate funerals over the next 20 years
  • you are facing (probably) a decade more of PMT and the glories of the blood without having any further functional use for that particular set of innards
  • your parents think you are lying your ass off when you claim not to be dying your hair and you just worry that they must be too blind to drive if they can't see the colonies of greys up there
  • you have been with your partner for so long you can't quite remember why you wanted one and subsequently, chick lit seems tediously self-involved and unreadable, and
  • your daughters are so disappointed with your trenchant lack of glamour they are determined to make their way to the painted, high-heeled and sparkly land without you.

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