Friday, September 7, 2012

How to bugger your husband's hobby

My dear husband has a  hobby that could also be characterised as an addiction. He buys electronic crap over the internet.  He got four parcels this week alone.  It is not as though he spends a lot of money - this is cheap crap.  Cords, chips, plug-in dooferwhatsis, etc.

It all started to hit a terminal stage when he decided to upgrade our set top box/ PVR thingie*.  He bought one and when it arrived, we worked out how to use the ratshit front end and over the next couple of weeks we worked out all the bits that didn't work. Needless to say the vendor's reply to his emails were a testament to "you were foolish enough to buy our pile of penguin guano - we don't give a fig if it doesn't work so shoofie off, moron boy".  Wife not pleased about the postage cost to send it back from whence it came.

Then the dear thing decides he can make one himself with a computer and several bits and bobs.  It takes about a month to assemble these b&bs during which time he negates the advantage of buying serially by continuing to purchase the next bob when the current bits are clearly non-functional.  The EPG ignores some programs.  The tuner has a little rest when it warms up.  The computer is also is prone to rests, apparently, or possibly not.  Maybe we should shield this lump of electric junk with aluminium foil?

After another month I hit the wall when he is taking the back off my tiny computer to set it up as the prototype.  Not once during this period has he gotten one program to record and play properly using his computer and now he is planning on buggering mine indefinitely.

Words were said.  He agrees the solution may be an off-the-shelf product offered for sale in our country of residence.

He then goes on to say that at least the cables he buys are ok (with the subtext that he will continue at about 2 purchases per week).  I remind him of the intermittent pins, loose plugs, poor shielding and limited life of these things. He then has that look on his face that means "I was carefully ignoring that thought.  Life would be easier with a dopier wife". 

I have a theory that the longevity of our marriage is dependent on my not generating that look more than a couple of times per year.  Exciting, isn't it!

*To be fair he had justification for this.  The shutdown of the analogue terrestrial transmission meant we could no longer watch one thing and record a second.

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