Friday, April 19, 2013

Mission fail on chocolate addiction.

One of my aims as a parent was to raise kids without raging sugar addictions and in particular, chocolate.  As a lifetime addict I just wanted something better for my girls.

There is a theory peddled by child development types that if you keep babies and toddlers away from very sugary food they will not develop the taste for it.  So I assiduously kept the oldest away from sweets and chocolate and even sweet yoghurt, etc.  This meant warding off shop keepers giving out toffee apples and being pretty bloody firm with grandparents, those insidious, sugar-peddling fiends.

By the time the little one got to two, the oldest was allowed the occasional lolly because she knew about them and what can you say to a three year old when she asks why she can't ever have any treats obviously targeted to children.  And so the younger one got to start earlier.

In both cases, as soon as they had sweet food they loved it.  So much for that theory.  Maybe you need to keep them clear for 30 years rather than 2-3 years, which is all I could manage in our sugar-saturated society.

Sadly, they both took to chocolate like junkies.  They get some chocolate for Christmas, Easter and their birthdays but not really any in between.  Unfortunately, as the older monster worked out, if you eak out each lot of chocolate to say, 5-10 grams per day, you can get from Christmas to mid April with almost a continual supply.

Mmmm, eggy goodness.


That supply has now ended and the sustained intake has meant they are suffering terrible withdrawals.  Like many junkies before them, they are turning to crime.

The other day when we were leaving a friend's house, two little eggs dropped out of the jumper one of the monsters was very carefully holding.  She had to go back and return them and have a solid talking-to when she got home.

Two days later, I noticed little nibble marks in my chocolate supply.  A rat?  Not one that can open a fridge.  No, that is a girl nibble.  I asked them about it and the usual shifty lies followed, but it was perfectly obvious it was the other monster this time.  More talking-to.

Maybe I should let them have a little amount each day - a chocolate methadone program.  I prefer not. I prefer for them to dry out and have a chance to wind back their addictions.  (Best not to point out that I have a daily dose.  At least I have moved past the (extended) period of my life where I could not have any in the house lest I scoff the lot.)

In any case I think we can comprehensively fail my mission to have savoury-preferring children.  Sadly, I think the theory was crap and the application insufficient in length.


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