There are so many reasons to love my husband but a biggie relates to the seasonal migration that occurs in our bed.
During winter the husb. manfully sleeps on the window side - braving not just the radiating cold but also the blasts of ice that come from the heating vent before the hot air flows.
This latter effect tends to give me an asthma attack every time the heating goes on.
I enjoy the winter side of the bed. It has a bookcase nearby so the teetering stack of books on my bedside table has a place to rest when it is picked up off the floor.
Mind you, when I say he sleeps on the window side, he does have a propensity to scrooch over to borrow some heat on cold nights. Thus, he spends winter much closer to the middle of the bed than on his side.
In spring we swap sides. I get hot in summer and like the night zephrs. He stays resolutely bequilted and lies in my lee to get away from the breeze.
It is almost swap time again. I am readying for the migration by reducing the number of books I am half way through. I am hoping to be down to less than 5 when the call comes. It will be nice to be mistress of the window (especially as I have cleaned it), but I will miss the extra shelves.
I suppose it also has some effect on the sleeping flexibility of us both. After many years of sleeping on one side, I suppose some couples could find swapping a bit much. It is not nearly as kinky as it sounds. You should try it people. I am not suggesting swapping him indoors for a drooling rugby player, you know.
Lastly, the bed would probably die if we tried to move it around the room so it is a bit like a holiday every time the swap happens.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Husband and daughter missing, believed exhasted
Some time ago my dear husband took the oldest monster on a bike ride. Little monster and I stayed home on the grounds that LM has the lung capacity of a hamster at this time.
The plan was to ride towards the lake. A return trip of less than an hour. A lot less.
Several hours have now gone by. There is a suspicious lack of girl and husband. Did he take his mobile? No.
Did they take water to drink? No.
I can not even go on a rescue mission as the car is off looking at other cars. This is not an automotive lust thing but a car shopping expedition undertaken by a friend.
Ahh, they have returned. They went all around the lake (miss-estimation of distance already ridden when you hit the playground), then got lost on the final run through the (admitably cryptic) neighbouring suburb. I have also misplaced myself there.
The girl only fell off once, apparently.
The last 500 metres was at a push.
The monster is quite grumpy - possibly exhaustion is a contributing factor. The husband is only marginally better. Lucky it is my turn to make tea tonight.
The plan was to ride towards the lake. A return trip of less than an hour. A lot less.
Several hours have now gone by. There is a suspicious lack of girl and husband. Did he take his mobile? No.
Did they take water to drink? No.
I can not even go on a rescue mission as the car is off looking at other cars. This is not an automotive lust thing but a car shopping expedition undertaken by a friend.
Ahh, they have returned. They went all around the lake (miss-estimation of distance already ridden when you hit the playground), then got lost on the final run through the (admitably cryptic) neighbouring suburb. I have also misplaced myself there.
The girl only fell off once, apparently.
The last 500 metres was at a push.
The monster is quite grumpy - possibly exhaustion is a contributing factor. The husband is only marginally better. Lucky it is my turn to make tea tonight.
 |
| This tree fell down in a storm several years ago. Terribly handy as it was on the death list, the suckery devil. |
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Cat plus moths equals chaos
With the arrival of the spring a new horror has entered our lives. The warmer weather has bought little brown moths - slender flutterers that can work their way past the fly screen to adore the light in the bathroom. This is driving Toast, our adolescent cat, into a frenzy. She is climbing the screens and the curtains, pushing things off ledges and shelves, falling into the toilet, all in a desperate attempt to get them rascally moths.
We never had this problem with her predecessor, Mouse. Now in her day Mouse did like to leap for a Bogong, but this is quite a different kettle of moth. If you are unaware, a Bogong is a big, fat, slow moth, also brown and hopelessly attracted to lights. The Bogongs will pass here in their millions soon on their migration. Mouse wasn't averse to catching them in the air above the back door mat but that was a few years ago now, before she lost her leap. In any case Bogongs weren't a problem. They rarely came inside mainly because you could catch them with a tennis racket.
You can see the attraction of a Bogong to a cat. They are slow, vague, and there is good eating on them.
The sad little things Toast is chasing are not legitimate prey. Mouse never bothered with things that tasted like dust.
It is just that Toast is such a keen participant. The husband caught her rolling a snail around on the cement, tossing it in the air, batting it off into the lawn only to pounce again. You can't be too carefully with your common garden snail, though. They can be very tricky buggers if you don't watch them like a hawk. A mere 20 minutes of inattention and they will have found a fence to walk up.
On the up side, when the Bogongs do arrive we can probably skip feeding the cat. Damn! That won't work; we don't let her out after dark. Maybe we could take the screen off the bathroom window, leave the door shut, the light on, and Toast in there to feast. Mind you, I don't fancy stepping over leftover wings and other less tasty morsels on my way to the morning wee.
This may take some further thought. In the mean time, she is making daytime hay with the cabbage moths so that should take some of the stress off the husbands brassicas (it is not dirty - look it up).
We never had this problem with her predecessor, Mouse. Now in her day Mouse did like to leap for a Bogong, but this is quite a different kettle of moth. If you are unaware, a Bogong is a big, fat, slow moth, also brown and hopelessly attracted to lights. The Bogongs will pass here in their millions soon on their migration. Mouse wasn't averse to catching them in the air above the back door mat but that was a few years ago now, before she lost her leap. In any case Bogongs weren't a problem. They rarely came inside mainly because you could catch them with a tennis racket.
You can see the attraction of a Bogong to a cat. They are slow, vague, and there is good eating on them.
The sad little things Toast is chasing are not legitimate prey. Mouse never bothered with things that tasted like dust.
It is just that Toast is such a keen participant. The husband caught her rolling a snail around on the cement, tossing it in the air, batting it off into the lawn only to pounce again. You can't be too carefully with your common garden snail, though. They can be very tricky buggers if you don't watch them like a hawk. A mere 20 minutes of inattention and they will have found a fence to walk up.
On the up side, when the Bogongs do arrive we can probably skip feeding the cat. Damn! That won't work; we don't let her out after dark. Maybe we could take the screen off the bathroom window, leave the door shut, the light on, and Toast in there to feast. Mind you, I don't fancy stepping over leftover wings and other less tasty morsels on my way to the morning wee.
This may take some further thought. In the mean time, she is making daytime hay with the cabbage moths so that should take some of the stress off the husbands brassicas (it is not dirty - look it up).
Case of the stinkypants trickster
Yesterday the 5 year old monster wore her underpants with love hearts on them - boy legs that tend to disappear up flanges and grommits. Things were slow this morning around here, what with cleaning, drawing and general stuffing about.
When the time came when we were close to actually leaving the house, I suggested she got dressed, remembering to change her UPs.
Several minutes went by, I mopped another disgusting surface but no action on the getting dressed front. I assume you are familiar with the next part of the plot - further suggestions for getting dressed, further reminders to change her UPs.
Finally, we are ready to leave - the monster is dressed but I can see little love hearts peeping over the top of her trousers. "Go and change your underpants", repeated three or four times, blah, blah, blah. I think at this point she tucked them in. She said she had changed them.
During the flurry of the next few hours the UP problem is forgotten. Later in the afternoon, I notice she is deflanging in the bottom region and the hearts are on view again. I accuse her of lying to me and she swears she changed them. So I say, "Go and get me yesterday's stinky pants". Quick as a flash she comes back with a clean pair and her soft petal eyes and earnest little voice are absolutely sure these are yesterday's pants. White with pink elastic. Crisp and clean.
Well, it is pyjama time and threats of death by misadventure are uttered. The girl is pjed, and she is wearing pink UPs with green elastic. I checked. Thank the lord, or whomever. I thought I was going to have to hold her down and peel her like an orange.
Sadly, I will have to remember the colour and we will probably have the same conversation tomorrow.
When the time came when we were close to actually leaving the house, I suggested she got dressed, remembering to change her UPs.
Several minutes went by, I mopped another disgusting surface but no action on the getting dressed front. I assume you are familiar with the next part of the plot - further suggestions for getting dressed, further reminders to change her UPs.
Finally, we are ready to leave - the monster is dressed but I can see little love hearts peeping over the top of her trousers. "Go and change your underpants", repeated three or four times, blah, blah, blah. I think at this point she tucked them in. She said she had changed them.
During the flurry of the next few hours the UP problem is forgotten. Later in the afternoon, I notice she is deflanging in the bottom region and the hearts are on view again. I accuse her of lying to me and she swears she changed them. So I say, "Go and get me yesterday's stinky pants". Quick as a flash she comes back with a clean pair and her soft petal eyes and earnest little voice are absolutely sure these are yesterday's pants. White with pink elastic. Crisp and clean.
Well, it is pyjama time and threats of death by misadventure are uttered. The girl is pjed, and she is wearing pink UPs with green elastic. I checked. Thank the lord, or whomever. I thought I was going to have to hold her down and peel her like an orange.
Sadly, I will have to remember the colour and we will probably have the same conversation tomorrow.
 |
| The SPT herself |
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Day 2 of school holis - situation under control
After a long weekend of playing with the husband, the school holidays have started in earnest.
Part way through day 2, we have:
Part way through day 2, we have:
- been to an organised event at the National Portrait Gallery
- gone out to lunch - salty but good
- bought sneakers for the skinny-footed monster
- bought a package of barbie shoes to arrive from Hong Kong in several weeks time
- taken delivery of a tardis teapot - as the resident Dr Who fan said, due to its dimensional paradox, in theory you would only ever need to make one pot of tea and it should never run out - might get cold though
- gazed at further pink dollery
- made a slightly dodgy lemon cheesecake - faintly reminiscent of a full fat extravaganza at best
- went to a playground and gazed at cygnets, climbed a web, played on rocks and played on a playground
- done some colouring-in
- done the weekly supermarket shopping, pausing for a moment outside to redraft the list from memory because it was sitting unhelpfully on the kitchen table, and finally
- completed the monster's haircut that was incomplete due to discovery of lice several weeks ago.
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